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color me blind
There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind. - So Long And Thanks for All the Fish by Douglas Adams |
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about the author
A female member of the homo sapiens species
(warm-blooded, omnivorous, currently alive) Diet includes walrus diarrhea, preserved portions of man-made worms cooked in boiling water and the outermost layer of flesh of eggs that have been incubated, raised, beheaded, plucked and fried in oil. Extremely unpredictable, high-five on sight. tagboard
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Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed |
To learn how to write ahlian talk, I decided to read the notorious fanfic My Immortal. wish me luck. ... I will also blog about it, if only for the lulz. First paragraph screams MarySue. well that's expected. Why would you shout someone's name and say "Nothing"? unless it was a prank, of course. I think how some people find wrist-slitting cool is a blatant insult to those who do it seriously. ... She will slash her wrists every time someone gives her a bad review? I'll bet the bad reviews came pouring in that day. Blood loss is a nonexistent concept in this story. If this is a troll, they have my eternal admiration. ... I don't even like harry potter and I'm dying her already. She's turning a bloody pentagram to a black guitar... in Advanced Biology? I fail to see the connection. WOMAN. STOP SLITTING YOUR WRISTS. I'm surprised they aren't little bloody stumps by now. What's "crying wisely"? And is "muttered loudly" even possible? Funny that they should say OMFG when they are Satanists... lolwhut? "The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE" what is her point exactly? “Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit” I take back what I said. She seems to have caught on to that contradiction. “Hey bitch you look kawaii.” is that an insult and a compliment 2- in - 1? "We did pot, coke and crak. Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps." Funny how they managed to do all this in a moving car. "his black hare went in his big blue eyes" a hare in your... that must have been painful. "I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces" ...whipped? feces? I cannot even begin to process this sentence. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I am not a goth, or maybe I'm just too busy laughing and crying at the same time. Dumbledore and Hagrid both "appearated" in front of her while she was in a toilet cubicle? wow. (plus they're both guys... I think.) She should just tell the readers that everytime she puts on something it has "corset stuff" on it and whenever it's a skirts, it's a mini. I mean, it's getting repetitive. I CAN'T GO ON. I CAN FEEL A PART OF MY BRAIN SLOWLY DYING. LOGIC IS CRYING IN THE CORNER DUE TO NEGLECT. Nevertheless I shall persevere. “No, actshelly (geddit, hell) kan I plz burrow sum condemns.” 1) what's with that forced pun? 2) if she means condemns, what the heck is that? 3) if she means condoms, why the heck is he asking for them from a girl? 4) LOLWHUT?! wait... what? Loopin just came and asked her for some condoms (or condemns)and five mins later he's "doin it" with a guy? Am I terribly mistaken or are contraceptive totally unnecessary with two guys... Then again, I've heard from countless people that this story is logic fail impersonated. “WTF is that why u wanted condoms?” I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat)" o....kay. Though I fail to see your sadistic-ness, if you'll excuse my preppy/logical way of thinking. "They chased me but I threw my wound at them and dey tripped over it. " YOU CAN THROW A WOUND?! OH, TEACH ME, TEACH ME! I'm begging you! "Then….. he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car." I looked up at the sky. I gasped. It was a blue sky. "The license plate on the front sed MCR666 on it. The one on da back said ‘ENOBY’ on it."... I highly doubt that that is legal. So she makes out with some other guy whose name is Vampire, and when her bf cries she goes up to him and asks "are you okay"... in a gothic voice. ... This must be extremely offensive to suicidal people. "And then………………………….. we herd sum footsteps! " oh the drama. "Vampire said under his breast in a disgusted way." ... please tell me that this is a troll and "his breast" was written intentionally. ...What are preps and goths anyway? "Then I gasped. Standing in front of me where………………. B;loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow!" Considering the fact that those are your friends I don't see what all the dramatic tension's about. uh...so they're standing in her room and she's all shocked, then they say "we have to go now". I don't care about this storyline anymore. Is it even a storyline, or the Gazillion Random Erratic Events of Whatever-Her-Ridiculously-Long-Name-Was? “Very well.” Dumbledore said angrily. “Butt we cannot do this. We can’t close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is…………………………………………………………………..Enony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way.” So the one who was a sadist but also at the same time felt sorry for Voldemort and let him slip past her a gazillion times while she was making out/slitting her wrists/being depressed and angsty and gothic is the only one who can kill him. Pack up and go home, folks. All hope is lost. I do not know much about goths, but if I were to base my assumptions entirely on this fanfic, goths are people who wear fishnets and black all the time, have extreme PMS cases, cry blood instead of tears and slit their wrists every other day. (As well as having amazing superpowers which enable them to "mutter loudly".) The page ends at chapter 22! really? yay. btw you should try reading this... but beware of brain damage. ... I'm going to wash my brain in toothpaste now and convince myself that this is part of a learning experience. |