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color me blind
There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind. - So Long And Thanks for All the Fish by Douglas Adams |
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about the author
A female member of the homo sapiens species
(warm-blooded, omnivorous, currently alive) Diet includes walrus diarrhea, preserved portions of man-made worms cooked in boiling water and the outermost layer of flesh of eggs that have been incubated, raised, beheaded, plucked and fried in oil. Extremely unpredictable, high-five on sight. tagboard
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Common tests are long over, and I still find myself puzzled and bewildered in the course of trying to comprehend the vamp's digestive system. Maybe since they're cells are dead, they lose all their water and the vamp finds himself trying to move the floppy bag of dead skin and bones and mushy flesh that is his body. Therefore, it needs to drink alot of water so that there will be a net movement of water molecules from the higher region of water potential to the lower region of water potential aka the vamp's body through the partially permeable cell walls by osmosis. The turgor pressure will enable the vamp to stand upright and terrorize the world as is its purpose. However since a vamp lugging around huge jerry cans of water is rather unsightly, they resort to drinking blood in an attempt to look badass and they make use of the water carried in the blood. Or they eat humans, since humans are 70% water ("KIDS, DON'T DATE VAMPS. THEY WILL EAT YOU."). In fact, vamps may be partially causing the problem of water shortage in singapore *cue gasp*! Maybe Holy water is really concentrated salt solution that has glitter suspended inside it. When it touches the vamp osmosis will occur and the vamp will shrivel and its body will be rendered useless. Vamps cannot go into the sunlight as sweating will cause water loss, or the heat will cause evaporation. I am done bullshitting now. But not quite, actually, because of this incident in class. My brain insisted on shutting down and I had to reboot it every five seconds, so I was desperately thinking of a way to salvage the situation. I started taking water from my water bottle and moistening my eyelids, thinking that osmosis will cause the cells to expand and my eyelids will be held open by the turgid cells. It was at that point that I finally realized I was not a plant. This post is solid evidence to prove the negative psychological effects of biology lessons. Also, holiday–noun any day of exemption from work (distinguished from working day). a time or period of exemption from any requirement, duty, assessment, etc. a period of cessation from work or one of recreation; vacation. an unintentional gap left on a plated, coated, or painted surface. Teachers need to know this. (The last one was left there because it's interesting. I will now be able to say, 'Hey, there's a holiday on your painting!') |