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color me blind
There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind. - So Long And Thanks for All the Fish by Douglas Adams |
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A female member of the homo sapiens species
(warm-blooded, omnivorous, currently alive) Diet includes walrus diarrhea, preserved portions of man-made worms cooked in boiling water and the outermost layer of flesh of eggs that have been incubated, raised, beheaded, plucked and fried in oil. Extremely unpredictable, high-five on sight. tagboard
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This was what happened when I went to my uncle's shop (it sells lights and stuff.) My aunt is the kind of person who can't throw things away, so she was trying to dump her stuff on us. '...What is this?' 'It's for removing stapler bullets.' 'There's the thing at the end of the stapler what. Who in the 21st century uses this?' 'Eh but it's brand new!' 'why is it brand new huh' 'Just throw away *throws in dustbin* 'NOOOOOO *dives in to save it* nonono it's so new no.' 'aiyo' 'why you keep the plastic knife for cutting cakes for what?' 'To fight off robbers who want to rob the shop isit.' (btw this has happened before 2 times.) 'Can be teaching material what' 'ya right' 'AIYO I AM GOING MAD. Next time cannot give me things ah. Or else must gimme things that can just straightaway eat.' 'Excuse me but I remember you have a sweet that you did not eat for ten years because the wrapper was pretty.' (this is true.) 'Then don't get me pretty wrappers la' 'No, if you give her chocolate right, she'll eat it and when she poops it out she'll collect it back and put in the wrapper' 'Ewww gross' 'And she'll make it into the same shape and wrap it nicely' 'it's the same color anyway' 'nooooo' 'Then maybe she'll eat it also. Or give someone else to eat' 'That is too conservative ba.' '... What is this thing?' 'A lock la. I dono the combination.' 'it's open' 'Eh you can use it to clip your pants! So when people want to pull down your pants they have to figure out the combination before they can pull.' 'who will want to pull down your pants' 'they should do this to flashers' 'but then cannot pee.' 'When you want to pee urgently right then forget the combination.' 'Oi you don't clip after cannot take out la!' My family's conversations never cease to amuse me. |