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color me blind
There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind. - So Long And Thanks for All the Fish by Douglas Adams |
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about the author
A female member of the homo sapiens species
(warm-blooded, omnivorous, currently alive) Diet includes walrus diarrhea, preserved portions of man-made worms cooked in boiling water and the outermost layer of flesh of eggs that have been incubated, raised, beheaded, plucked and fried in oil. Extremely unpredictable, high-five on sight. tagboard
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Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed |
Sometimes I think about how nice it would be to not exist. I don't mean death, I'm not suicidal or anything, but just to be nonexistent. After all, death is never the end, just the beginning of another story. The only way to find the end of nothingness is to never have a beginning in the first place. I know I'm ungrateful, I know I should be happy to be here. But just. To be nonexistent. I wouldn't have to worry. I wouldn't have to walk this treacherous path. I wouldn't have to struggle for these meaningless things. I wouldn't have to put up with everything. I wouldn't have to fall again and again. I wouldn't have to face these things everyday and not being able to do a thing about it. I wouldn't have to disappoint myself. I wouldn't have to fight these illusions. I wouldn't have to find the answer. I wouldn't have to be silent. I wouldn't have to speak. I wouldn't have to choose. I wouldn't have to change. I wouldn't have to know. I wouldn't have to hurt. I wouldn't have to hate. I wouldn't have to fear. I wouldn't have to wish. I wouldn't have to hope. I wouldn't have to dream. I wouldn't have to see the living deadness of things, flashing by. To wish that I would not wish. Because I would not be. |